i never wanted to say this
you never wanted to say
i've put much faith in, so much faith
but you just threw it away
i'm not so naive, my sorry eyes can see
the way you fight shy of almost everything
well, if you give up, you'll get what you deserve
WELL, WHY DONT YOU BE A MAN ABOUT IT
FIGHT WITH YOUR BARE HANDS ABOUT IT NOW
Sabtu, 29 November 2008
start afresh
now i'm gonna look at the positively bright side and forget what's been happening for the past few months. Lives are short, so why wasting time grieving for someone you cant even reach? I believe that even a star could fall, but i dont think im ready for that phase yet.
So, Dan, i think im gonna seriously start to forget my feelings for you.
HELLOOO..... BRIGHT SIDE!!!!!!!!!!
So, Dan, i think im gonna seriously start to forget my feelings for you.
HELLOOO..... BRIGHT SIDE!!!!!!!!!!
Selasa, 25 November 2008
EGO ISSUES
I’m quite an egoist. And i never had any issue with my pride before. Well, maybe i had. But none as serious as this. So, yeah. I’ve been rejected by a guy that i like. Sure, my pride hurts but what could i expect right? In fact, i should expect less. The thing is, I’m a stubbornly loyal girl. Forget about my ex – that’s a different story. So stubborn that it’s making things oxymoronic. For me, stubborness is one of the essences to my pride recipe. And now, stubbornly waiting for something that I should expected less has becoming an addition to the injury.
My f**king pride.
Should I give up just because of my pride? Give up chasing after him, I mean. I dont know what’s so striking about him, which drives me to the point of perhaps 35% madness. Sure, he’s still has his childish side and whatnot. Other than that, his personality is 20% to flawlessness. I’m not judging or condemning him, but you get what i mean. Princes charming is what the world cant handle today, and so does the so-called ideal guys. And this guy happens to be almost one of the types. I love the way his gentleness and kindness drop subtlety along the way. The way he notices even small things. The way he prefer to look at the best points in people and having fait in them. I dont care if he has many weaknesses. I mean, people can change. I believe that.
SIGH.
I dont know what Im rambling about but I’m just typing whatever’s crossing my mind right now. (Yeah, ~all i want is a little piece of heaven~ cun na juak lagu cascada ya). He’s the first guy to make me spill so much tears before (other than my dad) and... I’m not sure if it’s a good thing. If he has the tendency to make me suffer that much, perhaps I should stay longer and observe more of what’s going to happen next. Perhaps the tears will worth my waiting. Yeah. I’m a masochist by the way. LOL
I chatted with ‘Ed’ 2 days ago. Talking to him made my burden lighter. I thank God for providing me such a good listener. I realized why I flirted around with guys. Is it about problems of having commitment to a stable relationship, or am I just playing around, hoping to get a rebound so I can get out off this rut, perhaps forgetting for a little while that I’m still hanging on a thread? I’m sorry, Ed, if you happen to read this. Who knows you will feel at least a bit hurt upon reading this. Flirting without any strings attached isnt what I did unto you. Even if you feel that I did so, i’m truly sorry.
My pride hurts again because I let myself to be bothered so much about this trivial stuffs. Lovey-dovey things, i mean. But... love isnt trivial stuffs rite? Through relationships, no matter how puppy-lovey they were, we surely learnt something from them. So... it’s not wrong to think too much about this lovey thingy? Perhaps I should get rid a little of my ego and focuz on humility instead, XD. It’s becoming a pain on the ass already.
Help me. I dont know if I should wait around for a full redlight (perhaps I should assume of getting one right now) from him. I want my heart back, ‘Dan’. If it’s greenlight, I’ll wait. If it’s not... well, I dont expect much to happen (who am I anyway) so I guess I can rebound back to my normal self within weeks.
My f**king pride.
Should I give up just because of my pride? Give up chasing after him, I mean. I dont know what’s so striking about him, which drives me to the point of perhaps 35% madness. Sure, he’s still has his childish side and whatnot. Other than that, his personality is 20% to flawlessness. I’m not judging or condemning him, but you get what i mean. Princes charming is what the world cant handle today, and so does the so-called ideal guys. And this guy happens to be almost one of the types. I love the way his gentleness and kindness drop subtlety along the way. The way he notices even small things. The way he prefer to look at the best points in people and having fait in them. I dont care if he has many weaknesses. I mean, people can change. I believe that.
SIGH.
I dont know what Im rambling about but I’m just typing whatever’s crossing my mind right now. (Yeah, ~all i want is a little piece of heaven~ cun na juak lagu cascada ya). He’s the first guy to make me spill so much tears before (other than my dad) and... I’m not sure if it’s a good thing. If he has the tendency to make me suffer that much, perhaps I should stay longer and observe more of what’s going to happen next. Perhaps the tears will worth my waiting. Yeah. I’m a masochist by the way. LOL
I chatted with ‘Ed’ 2 days ago. Talking to him made my burden lighter. I thank God for providing me such a good listener. I realized why I flirted around with guys. Is it about problems of having commitment to a stable relationship, or am I just playing around, hoping to get a rebound so I can get out off this rut, perhaps forgetting for a little while that I’m still hanging on a thread? I’m sorry, Ed, if you happen to read this. Who knows you will feel at least a bit hurt upon reading this. Flirting without any strings attached isnt what I did unto you. Even if you feel that I did so, i’m truly sorry.
My pride hurts again because I let myself to be bothered so much about this trivial stuffs. Lovey-dovey things, i mean. But... love isnt trivial stuffs rite? Through relationships, no matter how puppy-lovey they were, we surely learnt something from them. So... it’s not wrong to think too much about this lovey thingy? Perhaps I should get rid a little of my ego and focuz on humility instead, XD. It’s becoming a pain on the ass already.
Help me. I dont know if I should wait around for a full redlight (perhaps I should assume of getting one right now) from him. I want my heart back, ‘Dan’. If it’s greenlight, I’ll wait. If it’s not... well, I dont expect much to happen (who am I anyway) so I guess I can rebound back to my normal self within weeks.
Isnin, 24 November 2008
what to do...
can i ask him for my heart back? i dont think i can wait unanswered like this for too long.
Dan, i f you dont have any feelings for me, then say it. I'll accept the red light with an open heart. Maybe i'll hurt. But that doesnt matter. Time will heal me.
DAN!!!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!
XD
Dan, i f you dont have any feelings for me, then say it. I'll accept the red light with an open heart. Maybe i'll hurt. But that doesnt matter. Time will heal me.
DAN!!!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!
XD
Isnin, 17 November 2008
Ahad, 16 November 2008
Selasa, 11 November 2008
What the Hell...
This situation's driving me crazy.
I MISSED HIM. AND AM STILL MISSING HIM.
It's been only what, 2 days that I last seen him???
I MISSED HIM. AND AM STILL MISSING HIM.
It's been only what, 2 days that I last seen him???
Khamis, 6 November 2008
I wished you love me
VERSE ONE: Somethin, somethin as simple as me hearin' your name (hearin' your name) Puts me, puts me in a place that i can't even explain (uh oh, noO i ain't never been here before) I really didn't know back then but right now i'm totally sure Baby, i know i'm your friend but i wanna be much more (o0oh) I get butterflies when i see you comin', o0o boy you got me runnin' This feelin' in my stomach tells me i should be your woman Because your the only one who makes my fairy tale come true CHORUS: How can someone make me so sad, but still i only want them to stay I wanna say i love you so bad, but i don't wanna scare you away Please, i wish that you'll understand that i wanna be more than just your friend I wish you loved me VERSE TWO: I see, i see you talkin' to them girls on the phone I wish that i could tell them all to leave you alone Really didn't know back then, but right now i'm totally sure Wh0aa who0 that i wanna be much more Boy this is why, i never really liked your girlfriends (why) Never really gave them a chance (why) Because I realized that i'm your woman, your woman CHORUS: How can someone make me so sad, but still i only want them to stay I wanna say i love you so bad, but i don't wanna scare you away Please, i wish that you'll understand that i wanna be more than just your friend I wish you loved me BRIDGE: Said if you really love somebody, i mean really really really, really love someobody Let me hear you say yeah, let me hear you say yeah, yeahh If you really know you need them, and you know deep down you never gonna leave them Let me hear you say yeah yeah, hear you say yeah yeah CHORUS: How can someone make me so sad, but still i only want them to stay I wanna say i love you so bad, but i don't wanna scare you away Please, i wish that you'll understand that i wanna be more than just your friend I wish you loved me.
Okay, that's it. I lied when i said i was totally over Dan. Seriously.
GUILT. that's the keyword here.
Should I WAIT?
Okay, that's it. I lied when i said i was totally over Dan. Seriously.
GUILT. that's the keyword here.
Should I WAIT?
Jumaat, 24 Oktober 2008
why oh why?
okay. so i cried last wednesday. I thought I couldnt take it anymore. It's the first time I cried so hard in front of my friends. seriously.
Ever since I stepped my foot on LKW soil, I faced everything outta my comfort zone. backstabbing friends, friends that are like 'indah khabar dari rupa', bimbos who always think they're right... Fuyoo... I'm amazed that I could hold on. Thanks God.
Thank God that I have friends who I could confide in with.
Thank God that I have the strength to persevere and still looking at the bright side even though life is getting tougher.
Thank God that I learn some lessons, at least.
Ah well. I guess university life is indeed like this. Using other people for own's good. Even myself isnt excluded.
But that's it. I noticed that I'm changing. Im not the old Lebat. I dunno if that should worry me.
Ever since I stepped my foot on LKW soil, I faced everything outta my comfort zone. backstabbing friends, friends that are like 'indah khabar dari rupa', bimbos who always think they're right... Fuyoo... I'm amazed that I could hold on. Thanks God.
Thank God that I have friends who I could confide in with.
Thank God that I have the strength to persevere and still looking at the bright side even though life is getting tougher.
Thank God that I learn some lessons, at least.
Ah well. I guess university life is indeed like this. Using other people for own's good. Even myself isnt excluded.
But that's it. I noticed that I'm changing. Im not the old Lebat. I dunno if that should worry me.
Isnin, 6 Oktober 2008
paradox remix 1
Chapter One
Thelma eyed the girls nervously under her dark messy fringe. What are they up to this time, she thought to herself as the skimpy-cladded girls smirking and giggling and whispering to each others while stealing glances towards her. She busied herself by looking absently at the displayed summer attires in the Mango boutique, a popular boutique which lined along other boutiques in one of the streets of Prague.
“Everyone, get in the bus right now. We’re going to the next stop in our list,” called Madame Rosa with the sweet voice of hers. She was one of the tutors from the singing division of Conservatoire de Paris, the most popular and recognized music academy in Europe where distinguished young virtuosos around the world gathered. It was in the middle of the month of June and it has became a tradition that the students were to join a concerto de’ orchestra tour around Europe for a month. It had been an important event for the students because it was the chance for them to perform orchestras and thus experience orchestra first-handedly. They would stop at each of the prominent cities across Europe to hold orchestras, and they would be starting off at Paris and ended their tour there again, completing a full circle. The students were specially handpicked by the tutors from each division and they were those who displayed high virtuosity and skills in music. And one of those honoured students was Thelma Aoyama.
Thelma Aoyama was a third-year student from the Violin Division of Conservatoire de Paris. Being the youngest child of a rich family from Tokyo, Japan, it was the first time she went to study overseas and felt very cocky at first. Luck took side on her as French was her third tongue, considering that her mother was one, and her mother was a popular fashion designer back in Japan. Albeit Thelma’s sense of fashion was always dark and were often quite a disaster, and this had made her a joke among her stylish fellow classmates. Like the present moment.
The bus honked for the second time, releasing Thelma from her reverie. She quickly lifted up her long spanish black skirt and sauntered faster towards the bus, not noticing a group of smug-looking girls who stood near the entrance. A girl with heavy eye-makeup positioned her right leg forward, and... dang! Thelma fell faced down onto the wet pavement outside the shop. This act were received with a burst of laughters and a few sympathetic faces of the audience.
“God, this is embarrassing,” she muttered to herself as she tried her hard to get up. One of her junior rushed over and offered to get her up.
“Serena, I never knew you’re a friend of that weirdo. She can get up by herself, you know,” Simone de Beauvoir said, her arms crossed over her huge chest. Serena Minogue, a timid Canadian girl from the Oboe Division, backed away with a little frown knitted across her fair face. It’s just the first week of the tour and problems are just starting, she thought. Faint murmurs of disapproval echoes in the bus, but none dared to step out to defend her.
“What’s with the face? BACK OFF,” said Nadine de Beauvoir as she cocked her head in her direction. Nadine’s equally evil twin, Simone gave a chuckle as she tossed her long wavy strawberry-blonde hair with her right hand. Now the scene had attracted even the pedestrians.
“Arretez, both of you. And get on the bus,” ordered a deep voice. Getting off the bus was the tall Louis Landeau, the appointed Conductor of the tour. His authoritative demeanour silenced the twins as both of them got on the bus with scowls written over their faces. Almost everyone knew that the beautiful twins were enraged over the tutors’ decision on choosing Thelma Aoyama as the featuring soloist of their last concert of the tour.
“Mais ce n’est pas posibble! Ce n’est pas possible!” Simone, the older twin screeched as a protest when Louise informed the orchestra that the Conservatoire’s tutors had appointed Thelma to have the honour of being the soloist as the grand closing of the tour. “Quelle horreur!” the other twin retorted, her eyes flashed. They even deliberately picked up a fight with her during their first orchestra in Paris, but Thelma, although innocent, offered her humble apologize much to the twins’ annoyance. And there would be at least five more cities to go, starting from Prague, where they were now. The last concert was always the grandest of all where this time where they would be performing at the Vienna Philharmonic, before heading back to Paris. This was the final year for both of the twins and despite of the fact that this was the fourth time they joined the academy’s concerto tour, neither have been picked as the featuring soloist. They held even deeper grudges against Thelma when the famous conductor of Conservatoire de Paris, Franck Stresseman, seemed to favour over her.
“You’re okay, Thelma?” asked Louise with a kind smile as he helped her to get up. Feeling his strong arms around her waist, her heart beated so furiously that she thought she could faint. She harboured a special feeling towards him since she stepped her foot on the academy. Who would not know the famous Louise Landeau from the Conductor Division who just won second place at the Prague International Conductor Competition when he was just nineteen years old?
Trying very hard not to bump into Louise, Thelma just nodded shyly. Then, she noticed something. Her skirt was torn, revealing her fair thighs! She flushed hotly when she aware that he noticed the torn too. He frowned slightly and offered a little smile.
“You’re done there? Louise, we have to get to the Boulevard Saint-Germain in twenty minutes. And go buy a tourist guidebook on Prague, will you? Thanks,” called Madame Rosa from the bus. Louise gave a nod as he called out Serena.
“Please accompany her. Buy a new skirt or whatever,” Louise ordered as he jogged across a nearby bookstore. Serena nodded as she and Thelma walked inside the shop again.
From the bus, the smirking twins thought of a new plan.
* * * * *
An obvious frown flashed across Thelma’s heart-shaped face. Before her was an array of mini skirts of many colours. She had been searching for almost five minutes for a proper-looking dark ones when she finally remembered that it was in a midst of summer; and the time was about to run out when the bus had to leave. And black was so not in the summer trend. Madame Rosa was already at the edge of her patience as she mopped around, waiting for both Louise and Thelma. Finally she sauntered over to the bookstore which was situated a block away, searching for Louise.
Thelma, on the other hand, was still searching, hoping that she could find the longest and darkest skirt possible. Serena, who stood by her already started to squirmed uncomfortably. Thelma felt guilty for making her wait. Glancing nervously at her watch, Thelma grabbed a jeans mini skirt and rushed to the dressing room.
* * * * *
Serena was eyeing one particular white singlet which has caught her attention since the minute she entered the shop. She caressed the material and her eyes bulged as she saw the price tag.
“$40 for this?? My...,” sighed Serena. With my meagre salary of my part time job, I couldn’t even treat myself with proper meals, she thought bitterly to herself. Compared to other universities, studying at a music academy required bigger fees and thus the situation forced her family to work even harder to keep her studying there. As she stared absently at the clothes, someone tapped her from behind. It was Nadine and she was smiling sweetly, arraying her perfect set of white teeth.
“Serena, why don’t you get on the bus while I wait for her here. Madame Rosa’s been fuming, you know, and I can’t bear to see if you get scolded over this petty things,” she said slowly, as if savouring the moment. Serena narrowed her dark eyes, suspecting something but she could not figure it out. Then Nadine fished out a few of Euro notes.
“Go buy yourself some lemonades, will you? The weather’s hot and it will not do you good if you can’t blow your oboe well,” said Nadine as she put the notes on Serena’s hands. Her eyes grew wider when she made out that there was ten euros in her hand. She stared at Nadine’s face with a questioning look in her eyes. Even though she felt curious about Nadine’s sudden generosity, she kept the question to herself and went off.
Meanwhile, Nadine smirked triumphantly.
“Au revoir, Thelma. Fais bien attention ā toi,” she leered.
* * * * *
Thelma looked at herself in the mirror as she turned herself around. She did this for many times now, and in anyhow and anywhere she looked, she still felt uncomfortable wearing a skirt which is six-inch above the knee. Her long pale white legs were overbit exposed, as she said so to herself. Reassuring herself that everything was going to be alright, she stepped out of the dressing room and headed for the door after paying. She just realized that her nightmare has just begun.
* * * * *
Thelma eyed the girls nervously under her dark messy fringe. What are they up to this time, she thought to herself as the skimpy-cladded girls smirking and giggling and whispering to each others while stealing glances towards her. She busied herself by looking absently at the displayed summer attires in the Mango boutique, a popular boutique which lined along other boutiques in one of the streets of Prague.
“Everyone, get in the bus right now. We’re going to the next stop in our list,” called Madame Rosa with the sweet voice of hers. She was one of the tutors from the singing division of Conservatoire de Paris, the most popular and recognized music academy in Europe where distinguished young virtuosos around the world gathered. It was in the middle of the month of June and it has became a tradition that the students were to join a concerto de’ orchestra tour around Europe for a month. It had been an important event for the students because it was the chance for them to perform orchestras and thus experience orchestra first-handedly. They would stop at each of the prominent cities across Europe to hold orchestras, and they would be starting off at Paris and ended their tour there again, completing a full circle. The students were specially handpicked by the tutors from each division and they were those who displayed high virtuosity and skills in music. And one of those honoured students was Thelma Aoyama.
Thelma Aoyama was a third-year student from the Violin Division of Conservatoire de Paris. Being the youngest child of a rich family from Tokyo, Japan, it was the first time she went to study overseas and felt very cocky at first. Luck took side on her as French was her third tongue, considering that her mother was one, and her mother was a popular fashion designer back in Japan. Albeit Thelma’s sense of fashion was always dark and were often quite a disaster, and this had made her a joke among her stylish fellow classmates. Like the present moment.
The bus honked for the second time, releasing Thelma from her reverie. She quickly lifted up her long spanish black skirt and sauntered faster towards the bus, not noticing a group of smug-looking girls who stood near the entrance. A girl with heavy eye-makeup positioned her right leg forward, and... dang! Thelma fell faced down onto the wet pavement outside the shop. This act were received with a burst of laughters and a few sympathetic faces of the audience.
“God, this is embarrassing,” she muttered to herself as she tried her hard to get up. One of her junior rushed over and offered to get her up.
“Serena, I never knew you’re a friend of that weirdo. She can get up by herself, you know,” Simone de Beauvoir said, her arms crossed over her huge chest. Serena Minogue, a timid Canadian girl from the Oboe Division, backed away with a little frown knitted across her fair face. It’s just the first week of the tour and problems are just starting, she thought. Faint murmurs of disapproval echoes in the bus, but none dared to step out to defend her.
“What’s with the face? BACK OFF,” said Nadine de Beauvoir as she cocked her head in her direction. Nadine’s equally evil twin, Simone gave a chuckle as she tossed her long wavy strawberry-blonde hair with her right hand. Now the scene had attracted even the pedestrians.
“Arretez, both of you. And get on the bus,” ordered a deep voice. Getting off the bus was the tall Louis Landeau, the appointed Conductor of the tour. His authoritative demeanour silenced the twins as both of them got on the bus with scowls written over their faces. Almost everyone knew that the beautiful twins were enraged over the tutors’ decision on choosing Thelma Aoyama as the featuring soloist of their last concert of the tour.
“Mais ce n’est pas posibble! Ce n’est pas possible!” Simone, the older twin screeched as a protest when Louise informed the orchestra that the Conservatoire’s tutors had appointed Thelma to have the honour of being the soloist as the grand closing of the tour. “Quelle horreur!” the other twin retorted, her eyes flashed. They even deliberately picked up a fight with her during their first orchestra in Paris, but Thelma, although innocent, offered her humble apologize much to the twins’ annoyance. And there would be at least five more cities to go, starting from Prague, where they were now. The last concert was always the grandest of all where this time where they would be performing at the Vienna Philharmonic, before heading back to Paris. This was the final year for both of the twins and despite of the fact that this was the fourth time they joined the academy’s concerto tour, neither have been picked as the featuring soloist. They held even deeper grudges against Thelma when the famous conductor of Conservatoire de Paris, Franck Stresseman, seemed to favour over her.
“You’re okay, Thelma?” asked Louise with a kind smile as he helped her to get up. Feeling his strong arms around her waist, her heart beated so furiously that she thought she could faint. She harboured a special feeling towards him since she stepped her foot on the academy. Who would not know the famous Louise Landeau from the Conductor Division who just won second place at the Prague International Conductor Competition when he was just nineteen years old?
Trying very hard not to bump into Louise, Thelma just nodded shyly. Then, she noticed something. Her skirt was torn, revealing her fair thighs! She flushed hotly when she aware that he noticed the torn too. He frowned slightly and offered a little smile.
“You’re done there? Louise, we have to get to the Boulevard Saint-Germain in twenty minutes. And go buy a tourist guidebook on Prague, will you? Thanks,” called Madame Rosa from the bus. Louise gave a nod as he called out Serena.
“Please accompany her. Buy a new skirt or whatever,” Louise ordered as he jogged across a nearby bookstore. Serena nodded as she and Thelma walked inside the shop again.
From the bus, the smirking twins thought of a new plan.
* * * * *
An obvious frown flashed across Thelma’s heart-shaped face. Before her was an array of mini skirts of many colours. She had been searching for almost five minutes for a proper-looking dark ones when she finally remembered that it was in a midst of summer; and the time was about to run out when the bus had to leave. And black was so not in the summer trend. Madame Rosa was already at the edge of her patience as she mopped around, waiting for both Louise and Thelma. Finally she sauntered over to the bookstore which was situated a block away, searching for Louise.
Thelma, on the other hand, was still searching, hoping that she could find the longest and darkest skirt possible. Serena, who stood by her already started to squirmed uncomfortably. Thelma felt guilty for making her wait. Glancing nervously at her watch, Thelma grabbed a jeans mini skirt and rushed to the dressing room.
* * * * *
Serena was eyeing one particular white singlet which has caught her attention since the minute she entered the shop. She caressed the material and her eyes bulged as she saw the price tag.
“$40 for this?? My...,” sighed Serena. With my meagre salary of my part time job, I couldn’t even treat myself with proper meals, she thought bitterly to herself. Compared to other universities, studying at a music academy required bigger fees and thus the situation forced her family to work even harder to keep her studying there. As she stared absently at the clothes, someone tapped her from behind. It was Nadine and she was smiling sweetly, arraying her perfect set of white teeth.
“Serena, why don’t you get on the bus while I wait for her here. Madame Rosa’s been fuming, you know, and I can’t bear to see if you get scolded over this petty things,” she said slowly, as if savouring the moment. Serena narrowed her dark eyes, suspecting something but she could not figure it out. Then Nadine fished out a few of Euro notes.
“Go buy yourself some lemonades, will you? The weather’s hot and it will not do you good if you can’t blow your oboe well,” said Nadine as she put the notes on Serena’s hands. Her eyes grew wider when she made out that there was ten euros in her hand. She stared at Nadine’s face with a questioning look in her eyes. Even though she felt curious about Nadine’s sudden generosity, she kept the question to herself and went off.
Meanwhile, Nadine smirked triumphantly.
“Au revoir, Thelma. Fais bien attention ā toi,” she leered.
* * * * *
Thelma looked at herself in the mirror as she turned herself around. She did this for many times now, and in anyhow and anywhere she looked, she still felt uncomfortable wearing a skirt which is six-inch above the knee. Her long pale white legs were overbit exposed, as she said so to herself. Reassuring herself that everything was going to be alright, she stepped out of the dressing room and headed for the door after paying. She just realized that her nightmare has just begun.
* * * * *
stupid teen love story... [synopsis]
The Clashes of Music?
Thelma Aoyama is a Japanese-French violinist who got lost in Italy during her academy’s orchestra tour across Europe. Being all lost and in despair, the nineteen-year-old girl prodigy stumbled into the arms of a tall dark-but-pretty girl – and so she thought – while she was wondering in the dark streets of Prague, the city of classics and romance. Later she finds out that the pretty girl is actually Jean Kaulitz, the lead vocalist of a girl-crazed German band, Paradox Remix, who happens to have their own Europe tour at the same time. Having no other choice, she reassured herself that she is going to reunite with her group by joining Jean’s party-crazed band’s tour. Facing a lot of circumstances along the way – unexpected romance with Pierre -Jean’s eye-catching twin, Jean’s sudden illness – Thelma slowly beginning to learn that maybe orchestra isn’t the only music that echoes throughout the world.
Thelma Aoyama is a Japanese-French violinist who got lost in Italy during her academy’s orchestra tour across Europe. Being all lost and in despair, the nineteen-year-old girl prodigy stumbled into the arms of a tall dark-but-pretty girl – and so she thought – while she was wondering in the dark streets of Prague, the city of classics and romance. Later she finds out that the pretty girl is actually Jean Kaulitz, the lead vocalist of a girl-crazed German band, Paradox Remix, who happens to have their own Europe tour at the same time. Having no other choice, she reassured herself that she is going to reunite with her group by joining Jean’s party-crazed band’s tour. Facing a lot of circumstances along the way – unexpected romance with Pierre -Jean’s eye-catching twin, Jean’s sudden illness – Thelma slowly beginning to learn that maybe orchestra isn’t the only music that echoes throughout the world.
Rabu, 1 Oktober 2008
Continuation~
hmmm... so the new guy came. Ed. we flirted... he's charming and nice...
sigh. i think the problem is me. i'm not ready to commit myself to anyone yet. whenever i think about new relationship, i will instantly remember what happened to my last one. I dumped him. the reason? I'm bored. BORED, among all other possible existing reasons.
see? i dont wanna make a new victim out of my insecurities of special relationship.
shoot me dead. i'm a bit too pessimistic about this kinda thing. i dont want to open my heart fully to that new guy, because i dont wanna be hurt. and i dont want him to be hurt if he'd really be involved in this matter.
how then? Ed is a really good guy and it's a waste if i just let him go like that. He reveals the flirtatious side of me, which i found quite tempting. (that sounds wrong. ah well~ hahah) fantasizing about being with a much older guy intrigues me a lot cuz it means CHALLENGE. Me, and my high school charm... tsk tsk tsk.
But I'm afraid that he's just a mere sweet talker. I just have to dig more infos. I'm the walking tabloid mag, man. See if I can place my trust onto this guy's shoulders.
sigh. i think the problem is me. i'm not ready to commit myself to anyone yet. whenever i think about new relationship, i will instantly remember what happened to my last one. I dumped him. the reason? I'm bored. BORED, among all other possible existing reasons.
see? i dont wanna make a new victim out of my insecurities of special relationship.
shoot me dead. i'm a bit too pessimistic about this kinda thing. i dont want to open my heart fully to that new guy, because i dont wanna be hurt. and i dont want him to be hurt if he'd really be involved in this matter.
how then? Ed is a really good guy and it's a waste if i just let him go like that. He reveals the flirtatious side of me, which i found quite tempting. (that sounds wrong. ah well~ hahah) fantasizing about being with a much older guy intrigues me a lot cuz it means CHALLENGE. Me, and my high school charm... tsk tsk tsk.
But I'm afraid that he's just a mere sweet talker. I just have to dig more infos. I'm the walking tabloid mag, man. See if I can place my trust onto this guy's shoulders.
Sabtu, 27 September 2008
New Episode
so i'm totally over this matter already. I've dealt with it in a good way. And now i feel surprisingly calm about it! maybe it's because I've received the confirmation of the red light from him. Or maybe......
Alright, ur guess is right. A new guy came into the picture. Less handsome, but more personality. Let's call him Ed. He's older and he's more composed in the way he brings himself (although he looks kinda emo with his long messy black hair). He's mysterious (in a way). Exciting.
Okay... But he scares me a little. I mean... he had a number of ex before, and he seems like he knows how to handle girls really well. And I'm not sure whether I'm the gullible type who actually falls for every word he says. Let's hope not. Help me!!!
Alright, ur guess is right. A new guy came into the picture. Less handsome, but more personality. Let's call him Ed. He's older and he's more composed in the way he brings himself (although he looks kinda emo with his long messy black hair). He's mysterious (in a way). Exciting.
Okay... But he scares me a little. I mean... he had a number of ex before, and he seems like he knows how to handle girls really well. And I'm not sure whether I'm the gullible type who actually falls for every word he says. Let's hope not. Help me!!!
Isnin, 22 September 2008
Should I wait...?
My friends said that I should wait.
That's the question. For how long? I need the time to stop liking him already. The more I wait without any apparent answer, the deeper this hurt will be.
Shoot. shoot. shoot.
And I thought that my sixth sense couldnt and wouldnt ever go wrong. If I've no confidence that he does like me , I wouldnt confessed to him earlier. But...
Sigh... And why am I so emo? If he was really for me, then he'll come to me eventually, regardless of how long will it take.
My friend asked why am I so crazy about him? He knows that that guy is gorgeous. But that's the thing. I'm not attracted to mere looks. I've been liking many guys before and although my ex was caring and protective (and gorgeous) , he strikes my attention even deeper. My pride hurts cuz he, being younger than me, has the power to struck the sensitive side of me. Maybe God is teaching me something here, and that is what I should figure out.
My goodness, and why does he have to be that caring? If I've no hope that he was indeed for me, then stop making me fall deeper and deeper into his web!!! arghh... why does a guy should be unbelievebly blur???
(I hope he doesnt read this, cuz if he does and figured out that I wrote about him, I'm dead)
That's the question. For how long? I need the time to stop liking him already. The more I wait without any apparent answer, the deeper this hurt will be.
Shoot. shoot. shoot.
And I thought that my sixth sense couldnt and wouldnt ever go wrong. If I've no confidence that he does like me , I wouldnt confessed to him earlier. But...
Sigh... And why am I so emo? If he was really for me, then he'll come to me eventually, regardless of how long will it take.
My friend asked why am I so crazy about him? He knows that that guy is gorgeous. But that's the thing. I'm not attracted to mere looks. I've been liking many guys before and although my ex was caring and protective (and gorgeous) , he strikes my attention even deeper. My pride hurts cuz he, being younger than me, has the power to struck the sensitive side of me. Maybe God is teaching me something here, and that is what I should figure out.
My goodness, and why does he have to be that caring? If I've no hope that he was indeed for me, then stop making me fall deeper and deeper into his web!!! arghh... why does a guy should be unbelievebly blur???
(I hope he doesnt read this, cuz if he does and figured out that I wrote about him, I'm dead)
Khamis, 18 September 2008
Matters of heart
hmm... how do I start this.
let's call that guy Daniel. I've been liking him since.... well, since I knew him a month ago. Not only cuz he's good looking, he has this sweet side - protective, likes kids, caring, all a good guy should be.
but that's it. i'm not capable of liking him cuz I know if i do, i'll be the one who hurts the most in the end. I guess I shoul learn how to accept rejection huh? Admirations from other people are my usual cup of tea, and almost every guy that I hit, I would hit the bull's eye.
Okay, that sounds arrogant, but it's true. Maybe God is trying to teach me something. that looks are not the ultimate possession that I should prioritize on.
but goodness... my heart hurts. an attractive gurl popped out of nowhere and started to hit on Daniel, which I'm sure that Daniel (somehow) is attracted to her.
My heart aches but I've nothing left to do but just watch. and watch what happens next.
let's call that guy Daniel. I've been liking him since.... well, since I knew him a month ago. Not only cuz he's good looking, he has this sweet side - protective, likes kids, caring, all a good guy should be.
but that's it. i'm not capable of liking him cuz I know if i do, i'll be the one who hurts the most in the end. I guess I shoul learn how to accept rejection huh? Admirations from other people are my usual cup of tea, and almost every guy that I hit, I would hit the bull's eye.
Okay, that sounds arrogant, but it's true. Maybe God is trying to teach me something. that looks are not the ultimate possession that I should prioritize on.
but goodness... my heart hurts. an attractive gurl popped out of nowhere and started to hit on Daniel, which I'm sure that Daniel (somehow) is attracted to her.
My heart aches but I've nothing left to do but just watch. and watch what happens next.
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