New Episode

so i'm totally over this matter already. I've dealt with it in a good way. And now i feel surprisingly calm about it! maybe it's because I've received the confirmation of the red light from him. Or maybe......

Alright, ur guess is right. A new guy came into the picture. Less handsome, but more personality. Let's call him Ed. He's older and he's more composed in the way he brings himself (although he looks kinda emo with his long messy black hair). He's mysterious (in a way). Exciting.

Okay... But he scares me a little. I mean... he had a number of ex before, and he seems like he knows how to handle girls really well. And I'm not sure whether I'm the gullible type who actually falls for every word he says. Let's hope not. Help me!!!

Should I wait...?

My friends said that I should wait.

That's the question. For how long? I need the time to stop liking him already. The more I wait without any apparent answer, the deeper this hurt will be.
Shoot. shoot. shoot.

And I thought that my sixth sense couldnt and wouldnt ever go wrong. If I've no confidence that he does like me , I wouldnt confessed to him earlier. But...

Sigh... And why am I so emo? If he was really for me, then he'll come to me eventually, regardless of how long will it take.

My friend asked why am I so crazy about him? He knows that that guy is gorgeous. But that's the thing. I'm not attracted to mere looks. I've been liking many guys before and although my ex was caring and protective (and gorgeous) , he strikes my attention even deeper. My pride hurts cuz he, being younger than me, has the power to struck the sensitive side of me. Maybe God is teaching me something here, and that is what I should figure out.

My goodness, and why does he have to be that caring? If I've no hope that he was indeed for me, then stop making me fall deeper and deeper into his web!!! arghh... why does a guy should be unbelievebly blur???

(I hope he doesnt read this, cuz if he does and figured out that I wrote about him, I'm dead)

Matters of heart

hmm... how do I start this.

let's call that guy Daniel. I've been liking him since.... well, since I knew him a month ago. Not only cuz he's good looking, he has this sweet side - protective, likes kids, caring, all a good guy should be.

but that's it. i'm not capable of liking him cuz I know if i do, i'll be the one who hurts the most in the end. I guess I shoul learn how to accept rejection huh? Admirations from other people are my usual cup of tea, and almost every guy that I hit, I would hit the bull's eye.

Okay, that sounds arrogant, but it's true. Maybe God is trying to teach me something. that looks are not the ultimate possession that I should prioritize on.

but goodness... my heart hurts. an attractive gurl popped out of nowhere and started to hit on Daniel, which I'm sure that Daniel (somehow) is attracted to her.
My heart aches but I've nothing left to do but just watch. and watch what happens next.